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Anger & Selfishness in a Marriage

December 4, 2009

Someone once preached that “Marriage is not to make us happy, but to make us holy.”  It’s a lot bundled into one line, but this one line resonated with me.  It seemed to break down a brick wall I had set up due to anger and resentment.  I would keep track of all the little things my husband didn’t do or didn’t hear me say and use it against him instead of simply forgiving him and moving on. 

When you look beyond that moment of anger (it can be hard, let me tell ya) and focus on the long term, it’s easier to see that being right or having the last word may not be worth the fuss.  Not that I’m perfect at seeing the big picture; It’s just a tool a try to use to rise above the emotions.

Another thing I’ve noticed is when I’m being selfish and unthankful, I tend to be more prone to anger and weird thoughts.  So, whenever I have a period of being angry/resentful about things, I check myself by being more thankful about anything and everything: my wonderful husband who loves to play with the kids, who likes to cook, who is friendly, who lays down the law for my boys.  You get the picture.  I get a little better with this process each time I go through one of my spells of anger, so don’t be discouraged if you can’t get it every single time.  The whole point is to grow and get better. 

Here’s a few scriptures  from NIV that helped:

Proverb 17:14  Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.

Proverbs 12:16  A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.

2 Timothy 2: 23-24  And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.

God Bless, Jen

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